Today I Begin to Freak Out

So I'm Alyx, and this is my blog. Welcome.



*deep breath*



This June is going to be event that defines me as a person. A marathon of a million little things that eventually accumulate to produce many, many different results that may or may not be survivable. If I can make it through without completely questioning my purpose for being, it should be okay.



I hope to emerge with a quasi-legible screenplay, my sanity, and another 3 credit hours. Whether or not that is actually possible is the big question.



I have a few obstacles in my way. The physical ones are not too bad. I have to work 20 hours a week (most people do, I'm not complaining), I have to sit in class for 3 hours a day and learn (there are worse things, my attention span is just not that long), and I have no idea what the workload of either will be on any given day.



It's the emotional ones I am worried about. Any idea that I may have gets tossed around until I throw it out for being too unoriginal or just plain stupid. It may just be my special form of procrastination. Who knows? But I have two days to get with it and get a good idea. Then there's the whole "actually writing it" conundrum. But for now I am taking baby steps and deep breaths and hopefully everything will be okay.



And you will be there every step of the way. For all the groaning and griping and hoping and hyperventilating. Only if you want to. If you can't, I don't blame you. But I encourage you to take pleasure in my pain. I know I do (in a completely non-masochistic way).

Please don't judge me.

Anyway, you should know that this entry has been typed little by little over the course of about two hours in which I have run up and down a flight of stairs more times than I can remember, alphabetized hundreds of sheets of paper, answered the phone, answered questions, and tripped over myself a few times. In other words, an ordinary day at work. I promise tomorrow will have more script-centered goodness (maybe...promises are like lollipops...they never expire but if you wait long enough they get too gooey to be enticing but eventually there will come a day when you actually eat it anyway).

Welcome to my mind. Please put everything back when you are done.